Labels for Blog Postings:

Focus Problems

We seem to be having a little problem focusing now. Could it be the move? Could it be the political climate? His diet? (Just discovered he can't soy, cashews, peanuts or gluten because they all make him weird.)



tweell said...

Would this be a 'power play'? My response to that behavior is to not allow anything else until the work is done to my satisfaction. No, you can't play outside or with anything. No, you can't watch TV, or have a snack. First A (what I want from you), then B (what you want from me).
The hard and essential part is holding out, you must not make yourself a liar.

ThrtnWmsFam said...

Tweell: I appreciate your comment. He isn't allowed play time or TV or anything until he's finished with his schoolwork. He hasn't had TV priviledges in weeks and weeks. And I never give in. Last week he threatened suicide because he doesn't like being under so many restrictions.

I still just don't know.

Melonie said...

Hi - I popped over here to thank you for putting my blog on your blogroll. I got a visitor from you today according to SiteMeter. :-)

I have a similar problem with my daughter (8 years old) and honestly, not only do I hate the way it makes her act, but I hate the way it makes me feel! I'm tired of the yelling, the punishing, the cajoling, the ANGER. I'm tired of being the "mean one" (when she goes to her father's house he's purposely the "fun one", which makes me look EVEN meaner, of course). She hasn't said it, but I know she wants to. She just knows it would be even more punishment. *sigh*

Worse yet, my 2 yo son is picking up on this. His sister is the one who is always in trouble (and granted, she does things that cause it), but now even he will stand in the parking lot and holler for her to come home from the park (because she ignores me - she "hyperfocuses" and gets selective hearing, when she's having fun).

I picked up a copy of the book Accountability Kids, along with the hanger and cards that go with it. They encourage positive reinforcement and an earned rewards system. I haven't actually implemented it yet, as it's a learning curve for me too. (My oldest, a former stepchild, was very compliant.) So you might consider giving that a look-see. Then instead of being punished with no TV, he gets to "earn more TV time"?

My other suggestion would be jumping jacks or something... is he the type that needs to move/fidget/have physical stimulation? Maybe if you had him do a division problem and then a sit up, or a push up, or something else...or maybe have him switch it up? If he likes routine, let him pick one and then he always does that.... or before he does the work, he could do X number of jumping jacks, then take a "break" from the physical activity by doing the math?

Does he need both hands to write his answers? Maybe a squeezee ball in his non-writing hand. "I know you're frustrated because you don't want to sit down and do the work... let the ball help you squeeeeeze out that frustration while you work"? Or if he just needs to "fidget", one of those fitness rolls or pool noodles under his feet - or a tennis ball if it wouldn't distract him if it rolls away? He could roll the noodle (or other substitute) with his feet (a la swinging your feet.... which was always a no-no in old school public schools for me LOL) while he's thinking and writing.

I just started reading this so maybe you've already tried all these things - but they are just a few of the things that have been going through my head lately trying to get rid of the situation (and the drama, and the anger, and the frustration!) at my house. If you are feeling like I am, hopefully it will help you all feel less stressed!

Good luck, and thanks for linking to my blog!!!